asexual

i would just like to publicly announce that i have become asexual. not in the sense i can reproduce on my own like a lizard, but that i have no sexual orientation. i like no one. and i won't like anyone. ever again.


until someone good comes along.

wishing gets you no where

there are so many things i want.
people, objects, unattainable things that i need to let go.
why do i focus on these? i could be focusing on more beneficial aspects. or i could be practicing the things i want to excel in.
like song writing. there are so many things i wish i could get down on paper, but i can't find the words. the expressions. to show my outlook on certain things. how i feel. what i want.
i need to let my fears of what people think about me go. i need to focus on what i want. what i need. who i am. before i let my life revolve around others.
and i can't "try" anymore. i must "do." i can't pity myself for the things i "can't" accomplish. i need to focus on the things i can accomplish. or attempt the things i'm sure i can't.

lyrically challenged

the title of this entry has two meanings.

1. i've been trying to write songs forever, but nothing ever comes to mind. they're usually pathetic and pertaining to being alone (without a significant other) and they all sound so cheesy, like a really bad kelly clarkson song. yeah. just that bad.

2. i've started a new blog, specifically to post lyrics of songs that relate to how i'm feeling/that i love/random. read it sometime. challengedlyrically.blogspot.com.

p.s. i really should start including pics in my posts. adds something interesting.

advice

listen to me, peeps. do not try to meddle in things that are none of your business. EVER! you'll just end up guilty and sad and ashamed, asking for forgiveness, even if they don't truly accept it. don't think that you're discussion will make the person think about his/her situation more. they'll just let it be, pushing the suggestion away.
he/she might ask to put it behind you, but the next day it will be awkward between you two, and you can't truly ignore it. that's all i have to say for now.
take this seriously. good bye.

devotchka

i feel it's my duty to review this most amazing concert.
my good friend, david bennett, and i attended this show on 28.1.09 @ the back room of in the venue. spectacular show.
crooked fingers, a band from colorado consisting of a guitarist, bassist, and drummer (original, eh?). i'd heard of this band as it made a few bloggers' "top 10" lists this past year, but i didn't know any of their songs. and i don't plan to. they began playing, and the bassist, an apathetic, tired-looking woman, looked as if she was going to pass out on stage, and their songs were fairly mediocre. about halfway through their set, the electric violinist from devotchka came out on stage and, i must say, crooked fingers is definitely average without him. and he's not even part of their band. anyway.
after they left there were about 45 minutes of well-picked "elevator music" ranging from ratatat to the ocean's 11 theme. good stuff.
then, devotchka came on stage. the lead singer/guitarist/theremin player/bouzouki player came on wearing a wonderful gypsy-esque overcoat with large buttons and velvet trim. the upright-bassist/christmas light-covered tubist made an entrance. the aforementioned electric violinist/pianist/trumpist/accordian plater reentered, along with the drummer/trumpist/accordian player. quite the band. they immediately started, with no words spoken. halfway through their set, an aerial acrobat came on stage, flipping and creating awe throughout the audience. breathtaking originality. as the acrobat departed, the lead singer said his first words "thank you alexandria" inaudible if you were more than 10 feet from the stage. they continued playing. and playing. and playing. they left. came on for an encore and at 11pm, the lead singer thanked his band, and left.
wonderful. breathtaking. woot!

How It Ends - DeVotchKa


Transliterator - DeVotchKa

desolée

sorry for not updating my blog recently. i blame facebook for my blogging-neglect. i also blame my recent insanity and need to reflect on every aspect of my life. i must say that little project is quite the time sucker. anway..

due to my reflection period, i learned a lot about myself and what things are important to me, and how i was going to go about changing the things i didn't like about myself
step 1: cut hair
today i ventured to studio 9 and chopped all of my hair off. looks spectacular. though this may sound a bit cheesy, i feel like the hair was, in a sense, holding me down, i was so attached to that hair i didn't cut it, or change it, i just let it be, and that reminded me of the things i don't like about myself; i don't try to change them, i just live with all my faults and unhappiness. i'm hoping the cutting of my hair will initiate change and revision in my life.
for you reading the blog: please give me feedback (also sounds cheesy, but i couldn't do it without you)
thank you, and step 2 is coming soon!

Go Places - The New Pornographers

buddy blogs

i am unbelievably glad my friends have begun to blog; it makes it so i no longer have to spend all my time on facebook. instead i can creepily stalk them!
i think i should start using this blog to do something creative, like emma; but no. instead i blog about things i don't like.
aha! it's officially my new year's resolution to start blogging about everything, sad and happy, and wonderful, and old news and bad news and good news and just EVERYTHING!!
okay my sugar rush is over.

urban lounge

i think all 21+ venues should be closed. it's not fair that a bunch of adults who don't even appreciate music are allowed to go and get drunk and pretend to love the band that's playing. in the venue is 21- but they have a bar in the back, why don't other venues have that? i mean urban lounge? they would get so much more business if they let underage kids go. there have been so many times i've wanted to get a fake i.d. (even though there's no way i could pass for 21) just to go see amazing shows. i mean souls of mischief came, and son volt, and blind pilot is coming; just tons of amazing bands that lots of kids would want to go to, but they can't because of the age limit. that makes me a sad hannah :(

The Kids Don't Stand A Chance - Vampire Weekend

knockoff me

biology is fun. biology is great. i love biology.
well the concept of it, not the actual class.
we have started learning about genetics and, specifically, cloning. i have yet to completely understand how cloning works, but so far i think it's one of the most interesting things they could teach us in a public high school. except evolution. and sex ed.
well just thought you'd like to know what i'm learning about in school.

Best Imitation of Myself-Ben Folds

gateway theatre

i think the best thing about gateway is the fact it's so easy to sneak into other movies. go to one. go into the bathroom. go into another movie.
my dream is to plan out a day where i just go to movies. start at 11:30 and end at 12:17. and eat like 8 tubs of popcorn. and 3 packages of junior mints.
ah. can't wait.

victoria secret

andrea and i went to gateway today. we went to victoria secret. we got three extremely-slutty-looking lingerie items to try on. we waited in the dressing room line for fifteen minutes. we got to the front. the lady told us "sorry. only one person in a dressing room at a time."

fuck you.
we left.

wow.. just wow..

pet peeve 1

i HATE it when you're looking for the words to some amazing indie song that you're too lazy to actually listen to, and there aren't any!! all the websites just say "lyrics to ___ aren't available. would you like to submit them?" no motherfucker! that's what you're there for.

that's how i feel right now regarding leeora by the sea and cake and you're the kind of girl by mixel pixel.

You're The Kind Of Girl-Mixel Pixel



p.s.
i might start a blog in which i post lyrics i search for. for personal use of course. just thought you'd like to know.

"i'm sorry, i have a previous engagement"

i have recently been informed that zooey deschanel (actress and 1/2 of she & him) and ben gibbard (death cab for cutie and the postal service) are... engaged!! does this make any sense to you? zooey is beautiful and an amazing singer and just all around amazing, and gibbard is a fairly annoying singer, often fat and unattractive, and an okay lyricist. alright, there's one picture where they look cute together, but still. oh well. if their happy, i have no complaints. except wtf?!

holiday season

i'm not a big fan of the holiday season. it's an excuse for family, that i don't really like, to have dinner with you, ask nosy questions about school and boys, and stuff you full of food. and the annoying christmas carols (that you sadly know all the words to) playing in the background puts the finishing touch on the dreadful winter season.
i also hate christmas break. true, you can call up friends and make plans to hang out for a day, and you really don't need to do anything for two weeks, but i prefer school because no matter what, you are guaranteed to see your friends, you can easily hang out after school, and it's easier to stalk guys you like.
the third reason i dislike the holiday season so, is there are NO CONCERTS!! all the bands go home for the holidays, so us fans are left all alone listening to recorded versions of our favorite songs. if bands didn't take off the two weeks from touring, guess how many wonderful shows we would get to see. gr..
well so far it looks like the holiday season is here to stay, so i will brave it out and count down the days until we get to go back to school.

Winter-The Dodos

desktop drum set

i was browsing christmahannukwanzikah gifts and i happened across just about the coolest thing i have ever seen. finger drums! you just put them on your desk and you play the drum set--with your fingers! battery-operated with 5 different drums (including snare and cymbal) and all-around amazing. there's a certain someone who came to mind immediately. 10 points if you can guess who. also, if anyone wants to get it for me, feel free :P

nightmare

last night i had the scariest dream. the dream itself was pretty scary, something about my dad owing someone money and them threatening to kill my family and a lot of other people, my dad seeing the future (the family getting blown to pieces), and trying to run away from the scary guys. the fact that it ended with me FEELING THE BULLET GO THROUGH MY HEAD caused me to wake up shaking. it was the oddest sensation. at the time, i was protecting my little sister in the back room of a store, and a very ugly woman coming and holding a gun to my head. as i feel the gun pressed against my forehead, my phone rings from my mother. i ask the ugly woman with a gun if i could answer it and say goodbye and she immediately replies, "no," and blows off my head. i felt the bullet going through my head, and coming out the other side, and then i woke up, grabbed my computer and wrote this. just about the weirdest/scariest/HOLY-SHIT-I-JUST-GOT-SHOT dream i've ever had.

hannukah

also known as hanukkah, chanukah, or ch-an-oo-kuh, as my friends would call it; a holiday celebrated by jews and faux jews (of which i am proud to be) where one lights candles and gets presents everyday for eight days. last night was the first night of hannukah, and my family was fairly unprepared (we had no menorah), so the shamash was a soy candle from whole foods, and our other candle was forced to stand up on the lid of the soy candle. DIY hannukah. as far as presents go, my sister and i received the same thing, a $25 ebay gift card. i'm debating whether or not to buy a casiotone keyboard from the eighties or save up for a guitar. you should voice your opinion.
oh well.
happy hannukah to all, and to all a good first night.

The Chanukah Song-Adam Sandler

swollen members-12/20/08

bodies rubbing against each other. everything smells of sweat, marijuana, body odor, and beer. no one has a sense of direction; falling upon each other, pushing and straining for air. the bass from the speakers vibrate your pant legs. the artists' words are inaudible, sounding like a drunk slurring his words together. crowd-surfing audience-members occasionally pass over your head and you reach up to help pass them along. during the encore, a circle of tipping over hipsters and gangsters formed in the middle, as i grabbed onto a pole for security. as the turmoil occurred, swollen members never took a breath from their free-styling ways, and continued to watch the stupidity and pandemonium caused by the crowd below them.

in one word the concert was
magical.

mp3: Black Magic-Swollen Members

43 things

i have made a 43things.com account under the name ciaobella713. the link to see my profile is here.
if i make entries on goals, i will post the link here, so EVERYONE can read them! yay!